


Two Weeks of Insanity

by Pearl09



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Bucky needs a break, Fluff, Gen, Jarvis is neutral, M/M, Quarantine, Rating for Language, Star Wars References, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony needs a break, covid -19, steve and peter need o u t
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl09/pseuds/Pearl09
Summary: With the COVID -19 outbreak, NYC shuts down, requiring that everyone self-isolates and stays inside. Try saying that to a super-soldier who's never followed the rules, and an energetic teenager who has issues staying still. Tony and Bucky have. It turns out it's really hard to keep Peter and Steve inside.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 45
Kudos: 195





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> I know we're all stuck inside right about now, in strange situations between working from home or taking classes from home, so my mind wandered into how the hell would you keep Steve and Peter in check for two weeks. The answer is, you don't without losing some of your sanity. Hope you enjoy! I'll try and keep updates coming!

Peter pushes the window of his room open, smiling and taking a deep breath of the morning air. He had stayed late at the tower last night, so he slept there at the insistence of Mr. Stark. The sun shines through a few scattered clouds, traffic on the street looks to be light, and it’s finally turning into spring. It seems like the perfect day to patrol.

Quickly, he changes out of his fuzzy pajama bottoms and into his suit, pulling his mask on as he stands at the window again. With one last second to appreciate the view, he jumps out the window, ready for the chill that always comes with swinging fast through the streets.

Except, it never comes. Something grabbed the back of his collar at the last second and is holding firm.

“Ah ah ah, not so fast, underoos.”

He sighs and lets Tony pull him back in, impatient to get out and enjoy the day. It must be important if he’s holding him back, so, once he’s standing and removed his mask once more, curls falling into his face, he asks, “What’s wrong?”

“You’re not allowed out.”

Peter grows confused. “Not allowed out? Why? I’ve finished my homework for the weekend, we finished in the lab last night – is this because I didn’t eat breakfast? I can go grab a pop-tart or something real quick before I start swinging around if that’ll appease you.”

“Nope.”

“... eggs? They’re easy to make, shouldn’t take more than a few–”

“It’s not because you didn’t eat breakfast,” he interrupts, crossing his arms. “You’re only allowed out if it’s absolutely necessary.”

Groaning, Peter looks up to the ceiling. “What did I do now? If this is because of the thing at the bank–”

“This has nothing to do with you. But, now that you mentioned it, I’m going to take a look into this bank thing.”

Panicked, he backtracks. “Pretend I didn’t say anything. Why are we not allowed out, Mr. Stark?” He tries to use the best puppy eyes he can to try and persuade him from looking further into the incident. 

“No one in the city is. NYC has been quarantined.”

“Quarantined? Because of what?”

He shrugs and leans against the wall. “Bruce accidentally released a chemical formula into the air and we don’t exactly know what it does.”

“That’s not something to shrug off, Mr. Stark! We should – help him, figure out what it does before symptoms start showing up in pedestrians, or even some of the city’s animals…” He starts for the door, trying to remember what floor Bruce’s lab is on.

Tony just barely manages to grab him by his shoulders. “Woah, kiddo, I’m just joking. About Bruce causing it, at least. He’s not even in the tower. Relax.”

Peter takes a deep breath and steps back, out of his grip. “What is going on?”

“It’s that new virus. COVID-19, I believe. It’s highly contagious and fairly deadly. We’re stuck inside for at least the next two weeks to try and curb the spread.”

“ _Two weeks?_ ”

Now that Peter has moved, Tony goes to close the window. “Yeah, that’s the incubation period or whatever. By that point, we should know who has it and who doesn’t, and those who do have it should all be in the hospital. Hopefully, we’ve caught it early enough that we won’t have to extend it–”

“ _Extend it?_ ”

“-Like they did in Italy. Or China, I think they’re into – sixty days now, or something–”

“ _Sixty days?_ ”

“Are you just going to keep repeating everything I say, kid?” He pulls the window closed tightly. “Jarvis, do me a favor and lock all the windows in the tower. Only let them open if they’re not big enough for this one to crawl through.”

“Right away, sir.”

“Anyway Pete, Bruce has decided to stay in the local hospitals to help and try and research a cure, and your Aunt is working plenty of overtime, so she said it’ll be better for you to stay here, so you aren’t alone.”

“Mr. Stark?”

“Yeah?”

“It might be easier to handle if you kill me.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic.” He reaches out and ruffles Peter’s hair. “There are plenty of worse places you could be stuck in. We have board games, computer games, game systems, multiple gyms for different styles of exercise, and – what is it, two theaters?”

“Three, if you count the one for employees,” Jarvis helps.

He gestures to the ceiling as Jarvis helps prove his point. “And we are stocked to the brim on food and alcohol – not that you’ll use the alcohol - but if it’s really necessary, then I can send one of the suits out for more supplies. Then none of us get sick.”

“What about – crimes? How is Spider-Man supposed to save the city if Spider-Man isn’t allowed out on the streets?”

“First off, stop referring to yourself in the third person. Secondly, you are saving them. You’re not out swinging around and spreading the virus. Take it from those Cap PSAs your school plays – wash your damn hands and do everything you can from getting others sick. The police are still allowed out, and without anyone in the streets, it will be a lot easier for them to spot any crimes you usually help with.”

“But – What if the police can’t handle it? What if–”

“If there is an Avenger’s level threat, we can leave to take care of it. But only then. Otherwise, find something to entertain yourself. Would you like me to list everything the tower has to offer again? We even have a make your own ice-cream bar.”

Peter stares off into the distance, right behind Tony, wondering which god he pissed off to cause him to suffer so.

From the ceiling, Jarvis makes a sound not unlike clearing his throat. “It appears someone else is having a similar conversation to yours, Mr. Stark. Perhaps you could help each other?”

“Who is it?”

“Mr. Barnes.”

~~~

“Steve, I told you, you can’t go out right now.”

“But you still haven’t given me a good enough reason, Buck.” He crosses his arms.

Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. “How many more times do I need to tell you? Everyone is sick, Steve. You of all people should understand how serious of an issue it is when people get sick like this!”

“I can’t get sick anymore. Not since the serum. You of all people should know that. I’ll be fine.” He picks up his jacket and tosses it over his shoulder before turning towards the door.

Sighing, Bucky grabs the jacket before Steve can leave. Again. “But you can still carry the disease around and infect others. Being immune doesn’t mean you can’t be a carrier.”

“And? I still don’t see the problem here.”

“Do you want to get Peter sick? He’s still here in the tower.”

“He’ll be fine. He’s got that – super healing thing. I don’t think he can really get sick, either. If he does, it certainly won’t be enough to kill him.”

“Then what about Tony?” Steve doesn’t answer, causing Bucky to sigh again. “The answer should be _no_ , Steve. You shouldn’t want to infect anyone. Why can you never follow the rules?”

Steve turns back to look at Bucky, appalled. “I am Captain America. When have I ever broken the rules?”

Looking to the ceiling, Bucky mutters something under his breath. “Would you like the list in order, or alphabetized?”

“Okay, I’ll admit, maybe once or twice–”

“How many times did you lie on your enlistment forms?”

“That does not count as multiple.”

“It doesn’t have to count as multiple, Steve! There’s plenty more on this list without having to count those each individually.”

“Like what?”

“Disobeying orders and going behind enemy lines by yourself?”

“To save you,” he tries, but Bucky is still going.

“Breaking out of and into _multiple_ high-security S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities?”

“Look, this isn’t the point of our conversation. I want to go for a run.”

“Then run inside, dumbass! There’s a whole track on one of the floors. I’ll go run with you if you want.”

“But I want to run _outside_.”

“ _No._ I’m not going to say it again.”

Luckily, he doesn’t have to. At that moment, the elevator dings, and Peter stumbles out of it in normal clothes, still slightly dazed. Tony follows close behind.

“Looks like the four of us are stuck here together!” Tony greets with a small chuckle, but when no one else laughs, he clears his throat and nods. “Pepper’s flight was canceled, so she’s stuck in California. I’m sure she’s horribly upset that I won’t be there with her.”

“Clint and Nat are on Clint’s farm,” Bucky offers. “They aren’t in quarantine yet, but they can’t really get here either, with travel bans and all.”

Tony nods. “So, we’ve got plenty of opportunities waiting ahead of us! Plenty of things to keep us occupied.”

“Steve was just heading to the gym, actually.” Bucky glares at him. “Weren’t you, dear?”

A long, drawn-out groan escapes from Steve as his head falls back so he can stare at the ceiling. “Fine! Fine. Yes. I am.”

“There you go, Pete! You can go with Steve, let some steam off. Since you wanted to go on patrol, you can swing around in there, and maybe beat up a few of those punching bags. What d’ya say?”

Peter mumbles something ineligible, but when Steve starts for the elevator, Peter mopily follows him out.

Once the elevator closes, Tony and Bucky make eye contact, having almost an entire conversation just with the looks in their eyes.

“You really think they’re going to the gym?” Tony asks, breaking the silence.

“For now. But it won’t last long.” Bucky sighs. “We’re going to need to keep an eye on them. Are the doors locked?”

He nods. “And the windows.” Then, Tony sighs too. “Good thing I keep the bars well-stocked, I guess.”

~~~

Tony quickly finds that Bucky was right. He didn’t want to believe Jarvis when, just over an hour later, he informed Tony that Peter and Steve were trying to break down the front door, but when he met Bucky in the elevator, he seemed to believe it. And then, of course, was the actual evidence.

The door didn’t budge to either of them, of course, but that doesn’t stop the fact that Steve is pulling with all his might at one side of the double doors braced against the floor, while Peter is standing on the wall and trying to get the other from a different angle.

“Did breaking the glass not work?” he asks casually, and the two freeze in place. “Not surprised it didn’t. It’s designed to withstand an atomic bomb without so much as a crack.”

Peter jumps down onto the floor, looking to Tony with a pleading look. “Hasn’t it been long enough now, Mr. Stark?”

“Kid, it’s literally day one. No, it hasn’t. Please don’t start this so early in.”

“We just want to do something other than running and swinging in circles.”

Bucky sighs. “We never said you had to do that the whole time you were here. Steve, you were asleep for almost seventy years, why don’t you take this time to work on catching up on things? Don’t you have a notebook of suggestions from people?”

“You weren’t supposed to know about that notebook,” Steve points. “You were going through my things.”

“You went through mine yesterday because you wanted to wear one of my shirts. You say that like we don’t do it every day. Besides, I was asleep too. I needed something to start from.”

“What’s on the list, Mr. Rogers?”

Steve sighs and scratches the back of his head. “It’s upstairs, so I’m not exactly sure.”

Bucky looks to Tony with a gleam in his eye. “Star Wars is on there, isn’t it?”

Peter lights up. “You’ve never seen Star Wars?!”

“... I can’t say that I have, no.”

“They’re classics!! Well, the newest trilogy only just finished so it’s not entirely a classic, and frankly, not everyone in the fan base likes them, but you can’t live in the 21st century without watching all of them at least once.”

Tony smiles. “Jarvis?”

“I’ll get them ready to go, sir.”

“I guess we’re watching Star Wars then,” Steve says, a smile growing on his face as Peter’s excited energy starts to rub off on him.

“I can’t believe I get to introduce someone to Star Wars! I have this stormtrooper armor I made at home from plastic, me and my friend Ned went to one of the premieres in it. My Aunt also has pictures of me when I was younger dressed up as Princess Leia; I looked up to her a lot.”

Tony snickers and says quietly, “I should ask for those.”

Bucky clears his throat. “So are you two good if we leave you alone to watch them?”

Steve frowns. “Buck, wouldn’t you want to come catch up too?”

“Didn’t I tell you I used your notebook as a starting point? I’m more caught up than you are.”

“When have you seen Star Wars?”

“Steve, I never sleep.”

“Buck, that’s not good for you! Even with the serum, you need to sleep every once in a while.”

He purses his lips as he considers something. “Well… Maybe I will, if you come and sleep with me.”

Tony fakes a shocked gasp and reaches out to cover Peter’s ears. “Not in front of the kid, you two!”

“Tony that’s – you know that’s not anywhere near what I meant.”

He lets Peter pull his hands off of his head and chuckles. “I know. Just trying to keep it light around here.”

Bucky blinks and shakes his head. “I have an Instagram posting schedule to keep up with, and I really don’t want to lose any followers. So I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, Mr. Barnes!” Peter says as Bucky walks away. “You know, Mr. Rogers, I think you’ll really like Luke.”

“Who is he?”

“He’s the main character. But personally, I like Obi-Wan the best.”

“Kid, I have no idea what any of these names are.”

“I know! But you will, soon enough.”

Tony nods. “I’ve been involved in one of his marathons. I’m sure you’ll know more than you ever expected by the time you get out of there. I’m going to head back to the lab to work on this suit. Call me if you need anything, and remember, there’s a ton of popcorn in all of the theaters.” He turns away then and leaves too, before Peter can drag him into another conversation about how important Chewbacca is to the plot.


	2. Day Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying this craziness lol

“Excuse me, sir,” Jarvis says, and Tony pulls away from his project to look up.

“Let me guess, they’re finally done?” He sighs and looks at his watch. “Took a little longer than I expected, to be honest.” 

“Mr. Parker provided extraordinary commentary between each movie, and they watched the two spin-offs as well as the main nine movies. And they did sleep some as well.” 

“Hopefully they’ve calmed down some, then, and realized this won’t actually be too bad.” 

“I’m afraid not.”

He sighs. “What are they doing now?” 

“Nothing, yet, besides trying to plot ways to escape. Mr. Parker is trying to disable me in the theater so they can speak privately.” 

“Go ahead, then.” 

“I’m sorry?”

Chuckling, Tony repeats, “Go ahead. Let them talk. They’ll have to come out of the theater eventually to continue their’ plan’, so humor them for a while. There’s no way they can leave.” 

“If you’re sure, sir.” 

~~~

“Jarvis?” Peter asks hesitantly, looking up from the panel he pulled off of the wall. When there’s no response, he looks down at Steve. “I think it worked!” 

“Great, kid. Nice work.” Steve lifts him off of his shoulders and sets him back on the ground. “So, what’s the plan?” 

Peter sits back down in one of the reclining chairs and gestures for Steve to do the same. “Let’s list the ways we definitely can’t escape. Mr. Stark has already ordered a lockdown on the tower, and there is no opening windows large enough for someone to leave from.” 

“They’re too thick to break through as well. And the doors are obviously locked.” 

“There’s a chance the garage might not be locked.” 

Peter shakes his head. “Too risky. Even if it is open, Mr. Stark could be in there.” 

Steve purses his lips. “You’re right. We need something that isn’t obvious. Something that he might not think about to close. You tend to crawl along buildings and rooftops, do you know of anything we might be able to find here?” 

“No offense, but most buildings aren’t Stark Tower. I mean, this building has a landing pad. The only other buildings I can think of with landing pads are like – hospitals.” 

“... right. Have we thought about using the landing pad?” 

He nods. “It won’t work. I’ve tried it before going into the city. We’re not up high enough to use a parachute, and the force nearly pulled my arms from my sockets when I started to swing. Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if that door is locked, too.” 

“Secret passages?”

“None that Mr. Stark doesn’t know about.” 

“Fail-safe?”

“Those require too much work. Shooting a missile at the tower, setting half the lab on fire, we could hurt too many people to activate those. And we don’t even know what half of them might do. For all we know, it could put people in danger.” 

Steve shakes his head. “There’s no way this is completely fool-proof. I can see the labs being locked up tighter than Fort Knox, but not the whole damn tower.” 

“Wait – Wait! I think I have an idea!” Peter looks up at the ceiling again. “Doesn’t Mr. Barton travel through the vents a lot?” 

A smile splits Steve’s face in two. “I like where this is headed, kid. So, what do we do?” 

~~~

Bucky sits sprawled across a couch, scrolling through his phone as the TV in front of him plays Food Network. Occasionally, he complains to no one about the cracks in the fondant or tries to tell the contestant that they forgot an ingredient, but obviously, no one can hear him. On his phone, he switches between Candy Crush and Twitter, where he’s running a Q&A to help pass the time. He puts #washyourdamnhands on every tweet that will fit it.

It’s been oddly quiet though, he has to admit. Even normally, Steve never quite sits still. Bucky glances over to the pile of sketchbooks they keep next to the couch just for that reason and smiles briefly.

“Jarvis, how are they?” 

“They’re doing fine, Mr. Barnes.” 

“Still in the theater, then?” 

“Presumably.”

He cocks his head. “Presumably? Jarvis, I thought you were in every room.” 

“Except for the bathrooms, yes. But recent events have, how do I say, limited my view of the tower.” 

Concerned, he sits up suddenly and mutes the TV. He didn’t really care about learning how to make fluffy eggs anyway. “Are we under attack?” 

“No. Mr. Rogers and Mr. Parker finished their movie excursion not that long ago. However, they tried to disable me, presumably to try and talk about how to escape. When I notified Mr. Stark, he said to go ahead and disable in the theater to humor them. I haven’t heard or seen from them since.” 

Bucky nods, frowning. “That was a stupid move on Stark’s end. Where is he?” 

“His lab.”

“Take me down there, will you? Clearly he doesn’t understand the lengths Steve is willing to go to get something he wants.” 

“Right away. Would you like me to pause your show?” 

“No, you can turn it off.” He pauses before adding, “But if another cake show comes on, save it for me?” 

“Of course.”

~~~

“How’s it going up there?” Steve calls, looking up at the ceiling.

“The grate’s almost off! I’ll assume that Mr. Barton hasn’t used this one, because I don’t know how he’d be able to open it for himself.” Peter stands on the ceiling, bent over and pulling at the vent, trying to break it around its screws, but not damage the ceiling.

“Toss it down here when you’re done! I’ll catch it.” 

“Sure thing, Mr. Rogers!” With a few more swift tugs, the last of the screws finally snaps, and the force of the grate falling nearly pulls Peter off of the ceiling. “Here it is!” He drops it carefully, and, true to his word, Steve catches it and tosses it aside.

“Pull me up!”

Peter crawls into the vent and peeks his head back through the opening. “It might be a little tight for you, Mr. Rogers!” 

“I’m sure I’ve been through worse.” 

“If you’re sure! Hold on tight then!” He shoots a web down to Steve, who catches it and grips it with both of his hands. Peter then starts to pull him up, only straining a little at the strange angle he has to pull from. Finally, once Steve is close enough, he lets go and grabs onto the other side of the vent, pulling himself in.

“Hey, kid?”

“Yeah?”

“... I think you were right. We should – go this way. I can’t turn around.” 

Peter stifles a chuckle. “Alright, Mr. Rogers. Lead the way.” 

~~~

Bucky finds them before he finds Tony. Completely accidental, of course, on all of their parts. One minute, Bucky was walking through the halls, getting lost in their labyrinth-like structure. He’s sure Tony has to be the only one that knows their way through it. The next minute, he hears a strange noise, like a shuffling, and pauses to look around. Then comes a large, metallic groan, and the ceiling crashes down in front of him.

Startled, it takes Bucky a few seconds to process – long enough for Tony to come running out of one of the doors down the hall.

“What happened?!”

“I don’t know; it just – fell.” 

“Ceilings don’t just fall, Barnes.”

“Well I don’t have another–” he cuts off as he hears a muttered curse, realizing what happened and crossing his arms. “Nevermind. I know exactly what happened.” He kicks the metal vent hanging around in the debris.

“Ow! Hey, don’t do that, Buck!” 

Tony now knows what happened too, so he mimics Bucky’s pose on the other side of the mess. Slowly, Steve crawls out and stands, and Peter meekly follows, staring down at his feet.

“Care to explain what just happened, Steve?” Bucky purses his lips.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Alright, we don’t have time for this.” Tony sighs and crouches down. “Now I’m going to have to repair the vents before something else breaks because of this, mainly since we’re in the labs. This is the last time I let you off the hook. Especially with Jarvis.” 

“You mean – I didn’t disable him?” 

“No, kid. He told me, and I thought, to appease you and keep you entertained for a bit, I’d allow him to shut down in there. I never expected you to actually try and escape! These things barely hold Barton. I don’t know how you made it this far, with Captain Dorito here.” 

“Hey!”

“I think all of you have learned something now, right?” Bucky interrupts. “Tony, take it from the one who grew up with Steve; he will not stop to get what he wants. This includes breaking any and every law he can. And you two–” he affixes a glare on Peter and Steve, “-will help Tony clean this mess up because it’s your fault. And I hope you also realize there is no chance to escape. Just sleep the whole fucking week if that’s what will keep you busy, and safe! Once the two weeks are up, you can go back out. It is day three and I will _not_ tolerate any more of this. Understood?” 

They nod quickly and quietly. 

“Good. I’m going to go back to my cooking shows now, and I invite you to join me. This isn’t an invitation you can decline. If Jarvis informs me you go somewhere else once Tony is done with you, I will find you and drag you to the couch by your ears. The only exception is if Tony wants your help with anything.” He sighs and presses his fingertips to his forehead. “You guys are going to make me go gray prematurely.” 

“I bet you’d still look great gray.” 

“That isn’t the point, Steven!” He sighs again. “Just. Clean up. Help out. _Behave._ I’m going to raid the minibar before I have to see you two idiots again.” 


	3. Day Five

“I’m going to go make food. You two–”

“Behave. Yes, we know, Buck. Please stop.”

Bucky narrows his eyes and lifts two fingers to them before jerking his hand in the opposite direction to point at them. Then he walks away.

“I don’t know if I can stand another hour of him yelling at the contestants,” Peter says once he’s gone, hanging like a bat on the back of the couch. His eyes are open wide, too wide for him to actually be paying attention to the TV. He almost looks like a zombie.

Steve nods in agreement, head leaning on his hand. “At least he hasn’t moved onto the fashion shows yet. You should be glad – he talks a lot more to them.” Suddenly, he has an idea, so he mutters as softly as he can, “Kid, can you hear me?” Considering how fast Peter turns to look at him, he’s assuming the answer is yes. “Don’t draw attention to it!”

Peter turns and looks at the TV once more, but he seems to be more focused now. “Why are we whispering?”

“We’re beyond whispering. At this level, no normal person should be able to hear us.”

“Does that include Jarvis?” he asks, getting an idea of where this is going.

“Hopefully.”

Peter flips over so he’s sitting normally on the couch. “I guess you have an idea then?”

“We need a contact outside. Luckily, there should be a ton of people we know out there since it’s just the four of us here.”

“What do we need them to do?”

“To make an Avengers level threat.” Steve nods firmly. “Or at least something big enough that the cops can’t handle on their own.”

Peter blinks a few times. “Who the hell do you expect will do that?”

Steve purses his lips in consideration. He hadn’t really thought that far, but then again, he usually doesn’t. “Sam is in the city, but I’m afraid he’s not an option. I’d rather not have him trying to get into my head, and I know he’d say no anyway.”

“Dude, like all of my friends are high-schoolers. I don’t think I can help.”

“Natasha might, if we gave her the right payment… but she’s nowhere near the city, so they might not even let her in.”

“You really think they’d be able to stop her?”

“... No, you’re right. She’d find some way to get in. But I don’t know that we’d have the right payment for that.”

“I don’t even want to know what that would be.”

Steve pauses their thoughts as he stares at the TV in disgust. “Is that an octopus?”

Peter’s eyes open wide. “It is… I have an idea, but I’m going to need your help.”

“Seems you’re the only one who can come up with anything anyway, so shoot.”

“I’m going to need two things from you. The first is your cell phone. The second is to distract Bucky.”

“Why do you need my cell phone?”

“... he’ll recognize my number. What about Bucky?”

“I’ll take care of him.”

“Where is your phone?”

Subtly, Steve brushed his arm against it on the table next to him.

With that, Peter suddenly gets up and stretches his arms above his head, arching his back until a chorus of pops echo up his spine. “I’m gonna use the bathroom,” he announces loudly. Then, walking past Steve, he slips the phone into his pocket as discreetly as he can as he heads out of the room.

~~~

The door to Tony’s lab opens suddenly and without warning, causing him to jump and drop the screwdriver he was holding. He wipes the grease off of his hands and onto a rag sitting next to him as Bucky strides in with Steve and Peter not that far behind.

“What can I do for you gentlemen?”

“Have I told you what I think the worst part of this serum is?” Bucky asks. He doesn’t wait for a response. “It’s that no matter how much alcohol I drink, I can’t get drunk anymore.”

Tony gestures to the other two with his chin. “Guess they finally got bored of watching TV with you?”

Bucky turns to them. “You wanna tell him what you did? Or should I.”

Peter mumbles incoherently.

“What was that?”

“We – snuck around behind Bucky’s back and – made a call.”

Tony nods. “A call. Well, that’s normal, calls can help ease the need to interact with people–”

“Oh, he’s not done. Peter, who did you call?”

“...Otto Octavius.”

“Why does that name sound familiar…” Tony trails off as the realization hits him, his eyes growing wide and his eyebrows furrowing. “You called Doc Ock?? Peter – why the hell would you do that?!”

“It was my fault,” Steve says, stepping forward. “We were planning together, and he didn’t exactly tell me everything.”

“I appreciate that you’re trying to not get him in trouble, Rogers, but this is beyond taking the blame. Pete, you willingly called one of your _arch enemies_. And considering it was behind Bucky’s back, I’m going to assume the reason isn’t good. So, spill.”

The words come fast from Peter’s mouth as he rushes to get it out, hoping it will lessen the impact of them. “I called him from Steve’s phone, so he wouldn’t recognize my number because I’ve worked with him before so he knows me and I needed to ask him as Spider-Man if he could start something small in the streets so that we could leave to stop him.”

“Peter!” Tony sighs and holds his forehead. “And you wonder why I put a tracker in your suit. Well? What did he say?”

He rubs the top of his shoe with the other one anxiously. “He told me I was being ridiculous, that he wouldn’t leave wherever he is now, and to make sure I wash my hands.”

A laugh escapes from Tony, much to Bucky’s resentment. “He told you – he said no to doing one of the things he does best.” He chuckles a little more at the sheer shock of it. “Well, there you go, Pete, can’t even get a supervillain to help.”

Bucky clears his throat. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t do it again and all that shit. Trust me, knowingly contacting your enemy is a bad idea.”

“Is that all?”

“What, Barnes, you want me to say more? I made the same mistake once before too; my house in California was blown up because of it. Sometimes it’s better to learn from our mistakes.”

“Unbelievable.” He shakes his head. “I’m done babysitting the two of you then. Get into trouble on your own damn time, not mine.”

~~~

Peter and Steve find themselves alone in the kitchen after that, because, no matter what was going on, Peter was still hungry.

“Bucky says my cooking is awful, so… unless you want to make it, it might be easier to make something easy. Like a frozen dinner.”

Peter hops on the counter and opens one of the cabinets as he says, “Comfort food is always a good idea.” He pulls two boxes of mac and cheese out. “Can you get a pot out and start filling it with water?”

“Easy enough.” He crouches down low, opening a few of the cabinets and looking inside. “Huh.”

Peter hops down from the counter. “What is it?”

With a little bit of rearranging and a couple of muttered curses, Steve manages to pull out a giant pot – almost as big as the stovetop. “Who even makes these this big?”

“I’m not even surprised.” He turns back around to grab the boxes of noodles before an idea forms. “Hey, do you think two boxes will be enough?”

Steve shrugs. “I guess? I don’t really keep track of how much I eat… I just know it tends to be more than the average person.”

“I also eat a lot, on account of the freaky metabolism. And with a pot like that… we could certainly make a few more boxes, easily.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Food eating competition? We make a bunch of mac and cheese and see who can eat more?”

Steve laughs. “Alright, kid. I’m in.”

~~~

When Tony walks into the kitchen later for a quick snack, he certainly wasn’t expecting to find empty bowls and used forks littering the sink, counters, and table. Least of all, he wasn’t expecting to see Peter and Steve sitting at the table, laying their heads down as they stare at each other, eyes half open.

“I feel like I walked into something scandalous. Which is saying something, because I’m used to being around scandals. Should I even ask?”

“I won,” Peter says meekly, and then lets out a low groan.

“That’s great, kiddo. I’ve decided I don’t want to know. As long as you’re entertaining yourselves and not trying to leave.” He pulls a granola bar out of a cabinet and turns to leave, but pauses and says, “I think I’m going to raid the bar before Barnes takes everything. Be sure to clean up after yourselves.”

“Bye, Mr. Stark.”

“Bye, Peter. Get some rest.”

Peter nods steadily and lets his eyes close the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky had them under control for a little while, but now... food coma  
> Will they finally settle in and realize there really is no way out? Only time will tell... (time and my outline)


	4. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yes I'm sorry this took so long! Classes and work started up again online and it's been... a lot  
> I am also aware that in most places the quarantine has been well more than two weeks, but for the sake of what I have left to do on my outline (and the title) I'm still going to keep it to two weeks.  
> Thanks for reading!

Peter jumps up to sit on one of the tables, kicking his legs as he swings them back and forth. Behind him, Steve paces. Tony regards the two of them for a few seconds before taking a drink of his spiked coffee.

“So you ate yourselves sick last night. Bucky has decided to push babysitting duty off to me. I have a special plan for the two of you. And, you can do it right here in this room, so I can still work on my things without needing to worry about you.”

“What is it?”

“Peter, I want you to teach oldie over here about technology. Now, before you protest, Rogers, you only know the basics. You can do things that are necessary. But, I believe, if Peter can get you to learn more, then you won’t be worrying about your boredom. Go make him a Twitter, Instagram… TikTok – whatever you kids use these days.”

“You don’t have Twitter? Even Bucky has Twitter.”

Steve shrugs. “I didn’t think it was necessary, so I deemed it not important.”

“Of course it’s not necessary. No social media is necessary. But it’s fun! You can see into the lives of others you might never have seen, share your own stories or events, and, the most important part – memes.”

“Memes?”

“ _Memes_ ,” Peter repeats enthusiastically. “Man, you really _are_ behind. Did you know Bucky was running a Q&A the other day on his account?”

“... no, I didn’t. Bucky doesn’t tell me much about his social media besides showing or sending me cute animal photos. Do you mean he could directly interact with anyone around the world at this moment?”

“Yep!”

“Isn’t that awfully dangerous for our safety and security?”

Peter blows it off. “You have to live a little, Mr. Rogers. Besides, I doubt Mr. Stark would let us use it if he hasn’t taken the necessary precautions. Your phone is Stark Tech, right?”

“He’s got a point there, Rogers,” Tony calls from the other side of the room. “Nothing is getting through my firewalls.”

“Why don’t you get your phone and we can get started?”

~~~

It takes a few hours to show Steve the ins and outs of what Peter deems the most important social media apps – Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. The first thing they do on each account is follow Bucky, who of course notices right away. After checking with them to be sure it is actually Steve and not some fan account, Bucky then draws attention to Steve’s accounts, and they quickly have to find how to turn off notifications as a flood of followers makes Steve’s phone ding at least once a second.

Bucky was helpful with teaching Steve Snapchat, sending pictures from upstairs in response to Steve’s so Peter could show him all the important features. He had to take a few minutes to explain what kind of pictures people usually put up on Instagram, including a small one on why people would take pictures of their food in the first place. Twitter was, by far, the hardest for him to understand, as he kept going over the character limit. That then required an explanation on how people typically shorten words, especially in texting, and includes snickering from Tony the entire time.

“So I can follow anyone.”

“Yes.”

“And there is no limit to how many people I can follow.”

“Right.”

“And I’m allowed to say whatever I want?”

“Yeah. I think you got it!”

Steve smiles and starts typing on the keyboard, trying to see if he can work it on his own. 

~~~

The door to the lab opens up again as Bucky pushes through the door, ignoring Peter and Steve off to the side in favor of heading straight to Tony. 

“Twitter’s broken. Can you do something about that?”

“What?”

“Twitter’s broken,” he repeats. “Can you fix it?”

Tony sighs. “Why do you think I can fix that? I don’t own Twitter. The servers aren’t here in the building. You’ll have to wait until they fix it like everyone else.”

“But I don’t _wanna_ ,” he wines. “You’re the tech genius here. Are you sure there isn’t anything?”

“ _Yes_ , Barnes. What even broke Twitter anyway?”

“Usually, when Twitter breaks, it’s a direct cause of a popular post, or maybe even a few, gaining likes, reblogs, and replies faster than their servers can handle,” Jarvis offers. “I have a backup of every website so I might be able to go in and see what broke it if you want, sir.”

“Sure, go ahead. Then he can complain about someone else instead of me.”

“It will only take a few seconds, sir.”

Bucky crosses his arms and frowns, tapping his foot as he waits rather impatiently for an answer.

“Well, it appears to be caused by a few similar tweets from the same user,” Jarvis starts, almost dragging it out and avoiding the question.

“And? Who was it?”

“That account seems to be linked back to Mr. Rogers.”

Steve snickers from the far corner, but he freezes like a deer in the headlights when he sees Bucky’s glare fix onto him from across the room.

“Steven _Grant_ Rogers, what the _fuck_ did you do.” He says it more as a statement than a question, sending a chill down everyone’s spine.

“Does anyone want a snack? I’m going to go grab a snack. Some popcorn sounds good right now.” Peter darts out of the room quickly. 

“I’m… going to make sure he doesn’t start a fire with it.” Tony follows close behind, making sure the door shuts quickly behind him.

“I want to be clear, it wasn’t on purpose,” Steve starts as Bucky stalks over to him. “Like you know, Peter was just… showing me everything.”

“That doesn’t explain how you broke an entire fucking _website_ , Steve.”

“I guess some of my tweets got popular?”

“My tweets get popular all the time, Steve. It has to be more. What. Did. You. Do.”

“Buck, calm down. You’re acting like I dropped a nuke on a bunch of orphaned kids. I just – replied to a couple of tweets from some politicians.”

He sighs, running his hand down his face. “Of course you did.”

“Do you have any idea what those idiots are doing out there right now? They’re going to give everyone a one time check of $1,200. What the hell is that supposed to do? And it’s not even going to everyone! They’ve put restrictions on that too! This is a worldwide epidemic. _Everything_ is closed. If I have to stay inside, I might as well spend my time telling these idiots off.”

“You _always_ pick fights Steve. Apparently, that doesn’t matter whether it’s in person or not.”

“I’m social distancing like a pro.”

Bucky stares at him blankly and blinks. “I regret pushing you two off to Tony. Please don’t start talking like that on the regular.”

“I thought you wanted me to learn this stuff?”

“Learn the technology, not the language the teens use. Then you’ll really sound like an old grandpa trying to learn everything.”

Steve pouts. “Don’t call me that.”

“Then don’t act like one.” Bucky leans in and kisses his forehead. “Next time, keep it to one politician at a time. Less likely to break a website that way.” With that, he pulls his phone out and leaves the lab, unlocking it to find something else to do. Before he can, though, he finds Peter and Tony standing around in the hall.

“What, no explosions?” Tony asks. “No screaming matches? No punching through walls?”

“You really expected me to do that?”

He shrugs. “I don’t tend to punch through walls unless I need to. He made a mistake, he won’t do it again.”

“Wow, I really was expecting more than that.”

“So… you’re not mad at him?” Peter asks meekly.

“I’ll go take over Instagram for a while. Maybe I’ll start a live video or something. It’s something we should have expected by getting him online.”

Peter sighs with relief.

“But, Peter, it’s your job to make sure he doesn’t do it again.”

He squeaks. “Yes – yes Mr. Barnes sir.”

“Good. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have an awful remodeling job to get back to. You should _see_ the colors they’ve mashed together in the same room.” He shakes his head. “I can’t imagine who would want to buy the house. I want to see who the unfortunate owners will be. See ya later!” With that, he returns to his phone and starts walking down the hall again, leaving Peter and Tony to stare after him, shocked and confused.


	5. Day Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, can't believe it's been over a month since I posted a chapter. Sorry guys, turns out online school really overwhelmed me and really put a writers block on me. I was able to churn this chapter out today though, and I think something today finally broke that block! We'll see how long it lasts, but I'm sure I'll be able to finish the next few chapters before it hits again.  
> I'm already starting the next chapter, so it won't be as long before the next update, I promise!

“Alright, Mr. Rogers, I think I’ve figured out what might keep our attention. No promises, though.”

Steve stifles a yawn with the back of his hand. “Whatever you say, kid.” He drops onto the couch next to Peter and slouches against the armrest. They are sitting in the middle of the Avenger’s common room, with the TV in front of them up and running.

“Did you – just wake up?” He stifles a giggle. “It’s almost noon! I thought Mr. Barnes always complained about you getting up with the sun.”

“Yeah, well, when Bucky manages to sleep, there is almost nothing in the world that can wake him. And he’s a big sleep cuddler, so waking up this morning was like waking up as a tree a koala was hanging onto. There was absolutely no way for me to escape his grasp. So I just went with it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a snack or something, then? Before we begin?”

“Thanks, but Bucky made breakfast. Or, brunch? Whatever, I had a meal before coming up here at your request. So, what is it? More movies? Did they kick us out of the movie theater so we don’t break everything again?”

“Well – as far as I know, they haven’t,” he chuckles, passing Steve a remote. “No, I thought it’s the perfect time to bring you into the world of video games.”

Steve looks the remote over, an eyebrow slowly raising. “Is it like – digital bridge, and things like that?”

“I have no idea what that is, but I’m going to assume the answer is no. You see, video games vary depending on the genre. There are horror games, casual games, tycoon games, racing games, party games – you name a genre and there’s bound to be multiple games in it. They’re all digital, so they’re all animated. Different studios have different ways of animating, though, like Mo-Cap or 3D models…” he trails off and realizes Steve more than likely doesn’t know what either of those are. “You know what? Let me just show you with some good old-fashioned Nintendo games.”

“Okay – how do I hold this?”

After showing Steve how to hold the remote, as well as teaching him the controls, Peter starts up Smash. Peter plays as Rosalina, but Steve hops around and changes his every chance he gets, usually picking on looks. The one he uses the most, though, is Pac-Man, or “the little yellow ball with legs.” Steve becomes frustrated though, and when a snap like a piece of plastic cracking reaches their ears, they both share a worried glance before Peter decides to change the game.

“Well… I don’t know if this will be any better, but sometimes a nice racing game can be relaxing, and it was what I had planned on showing you next… maybe Mario Kart won’t be too bad.”

It was, in fact, worse. Peter plays as baby Luigi while Steve plays as Yoshi, but between trying to figure out how to make a car and what stats were important in the building of said car, Steve is already on edge before they start racing. Peter picks what he believes to be the calmest race track, Moo Moo Farms, but because both of their characters are green and Steve wasn’t expecting the split-screen, he starts off the race bewildered and confused, growing more and more frustrated as the game progresses and they pass onto other tracks. It’s like a game of Monopoly, really – round and round the game goes, pitting friends and family against each other as it progressively gets more intense, until finally someone, or something, cracks.

Peter rushes to pause the game when Steve is holding half of the remote in each hand, staring down at it in shock. “Alright, alright, I take the blame for that, no one introduces a newcomer to rainbow road their first game, _no one_ …” He frowns and looks over to Steve, still frozen in place. “Are you alright? There’s no plastic stuck in your skin now, is there? We should remove it, but I’m not the best at first aid…”

“I’m sorry,” Steve finally says, looking up at him. “I didn’t mean to break your remote.”

He returns a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it, Mr. Rogers. It’s technically Mr. Stark’s, not mine. He bought it for me, and you know he has the money to replace a lousy remote. Plus, I have a secret weapon he has yet to resist.”

“Which is?”

“Pouting. It works every time, let me tell you. There is nothing he won’t do if I pout.”

“I think that’s abusing your power, Peter.”

He shrugs. “It’s whatever. I don’t use it to get bad things, like – like asking him to buy a digital movie instead of renting it, because I’m probably only going to watch it once, and it’s a lot more to buy it than rent it. Anyway, let’s turn this off for now and take this down to him, see if he can fix it. This puts a whole new meaning on the term rage quit, huh?” He laughs, but forgets Steve doesn’t know what that means, so it trails off and he clears his throat. “ Jarvis, where is Mr. Stark?”

“In his lab, like always, Mr. Parker.”

“Thanks! Come on, Mr. Rogers, he’ll take it better if I go with you.”

~~~

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “So, let me get this straight. You introduced Steve to Nintendo first? As his first taste of video games? What about – Pac-Man? That’s a classic! Or Space Invaders? I mean, even Duckhunt, Pete. Come on.”

“Pac-Man is an arcade game. They don’t usually release those on consoles.”

He rolls his eyes. “Of course I know that. That’s why I bought a retro Pac-Man machine that’s down in the arcade.”

“You have an arcade?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? I think Natasha has the highest score on Dance Dance Revolution. That, or it’s Clint. Can’t quite remember, the last time I was down there I was drunk.” He hums in thought. “No, I think Clint has the high score on Whac-A-Mole.”

Steve clears his throat, not knowing really any of what they’re talking about. “Uh, the remote.”

“Right, right.” Tony waves his hand around in the air as he turns to Steve. “There really isn’t anything I can do for it that will let you guys start playing again immediately – it would be easier to buy a new one than try and fix that, basically. Buying things takes time, so I could probably get it here sometime tomorrow? But no earlier, especially since we’re not allowed out. However, there’s all the possibility you would just break it again…” His fingers drum against the edge of his desk, filling the silence he left as he thinks. “Jarvis, add making super soldier strength resistant controllers to the list. But put it above whatever that was Pepper wanted me to do.”

“You mean the new design for the updated arc reactors that are due next week, sir?”

“Yeah, no need to be so hard on that due date, J. You know I do my best work under pressure and time constraints.”

“Indubitably, sir.”

“Well, there you have it, Pete. If you want to continue the games, take him to the arcade, switch to a different console, whatever.”

Peter scratches the back of his neck. “Perhaps playing anything else right now would be a bad idea, just in case we accidentally break any more controllers… Mr. Rogers, would it be all the same to you if you just watch? I can put on a single-player game, like–”

“Legend of Zelda,” Tony says.

“Like Legend of Zelda,” Peter repeats. “No, the main character is not Zelda. That’s Link. I’ll explain that when we get there, though.”

“Lead the way,” Steve says in agreement, letting Peter out of the lab first before following after him. 

Tony watches them leave, and once the door closes again, he sighs. “Jarvis, pull up one of those online ordering companies. I need stuff from Bezos.”

“Amazon, sir.”

“I didn’t ask for you to correct me. I don’t care what it’s called, just get the express shipping, whatever they can do the fastest. I think I know something we can get them to keep them busy without breaking things.”


	6. Day Nine

“You wanted something, Mr. Stark?” Peter asks as he walks into the common room. It was strange to see Tony outside of the lab recently, so he didn’t want to do anything to make him mad and retreat back into his lair.

“Yes. I think I’ve finally found something to keep you and capsicle occupied for a few days. Which, if you’ve been paying attention, is all we have left. Bear with me here. You’ll like this, it will be challenging and time-consuming, and you can teach more modern things to the old guy.” As he speaks, he walks around to the back of the couch.

“Why are you being vague and cryptic?”

Instead of vocalizing an answer, Tony leans down and pulls a box from behind the couch and shows it to him. Peter’s jaw drops as he rushes over.

“Is that – Is that a Lego Millenium Falcon??”

“It is. I ordered a ton of these sets, the biggest they’ve ever made. I thought–”

Peter swipes the box from his hands before he can finish and pushes the table out of the way with one hand, opening the box and pouring its contents onto the rug before plopping down next to the pile.

“Right,” Tony says with a smile. “Have fun, kid. Let me know if you need anything.” He moves the other boxes from their hiding spot so Peter doesn’t forget about them before letting him be.

When Steve finally makes it to the common room, he finds Peter surrounded by piles of the little bricks, and he pauses for a moment to wonder if he’s interrupting something and should just go back to Bucky. But, there are two things that made him decide not to. The first one was that Bucky decided today he was going to try and make a cake. While he’s usually good at baking, he was wanting to take it a step further and try some of the things he’s seen on TV, so really, Steve doesn’t really want to be there in case it fails. The other reason is Peter’s already noticed he is there and is beckoning him over.

“Hey Mr. Rogers! Mr. Stark bought us a bunch of lego sets! They’re little bricks that you build with, and certain sets have directions with them – no DON’T STEP ON THAT!”

Steve freezes in place, foot hovering over a stray lego that had fallen away from the rest of the group. “Alright, I’m going to need more of an explanation for this.”

Peter rescues the block from under his foot before gesturing for Steve to join him on the floor. “Legos are _awfully_ painful to step on. Most people say it’s the most painful thing in the world. Anyway, Here’s the instruction book. This set will make a Millenium Falcon! All I’m doing now is sorting the pieces out to be with the others that look similar, because that makes following the instructions so much easier.”

Flipping through the instruction book, he asks, “This is really supposed to turn into the Millenium Falcon? These instructions… don’t really show that.”

“Well that’s only the first book. There are a few of them since there’s so many pieces. I know it looks strange, but once we start, it’ll all make sense. Trust me. For now, though, will you help me finish sorting?”

“Sure, kid. Just tell me what to do.”

~~~

The elevator door opens and Bucky walks out with a large pot in hand, making a beeline for the kitchen. He pauses though when he notices Steve and Peter sitting calmly in the middle of the room, placing bricks one after the other on the mound in front of them.

“What are you two up to?” He asks, shifting the pot to rest under his arm.

“Oh, hey Buck,” Steve says as he looks up. “Tony bought a bunch of lego sets and Peter was showing me how they work.”

“Ah, yes, legos. Aren’t you a little old for those, Steve?”

“What?”

“Check the age on the box.”

Peter reaches over and picks up the discarded cardboard, flipping it over and snorting once he finds the age. “It says for ages 4 to 99.”

“Oh.” He rolls his eyes. “Haha, very funny, Bucky. You know you’re older than me?”

“Steve, that is the worst comeback ever.”

“Alright, whatever. What are you doing up here?”

He hefts the pot up so Steve sees it. “I’m raiding the kitchen for ingredients. Turns out fondant isn’t as simple as I thought, and I already ruined the first batch I made.”

“What about the industrial kitchens?” Peter asks, casually flipping a page over in the instruction book. 

“Huh?”

He looks up to see both Bucky and Steve staring at him, confused. “The industrial kitchens? The ones where all of the professional chefs work? You didn’t know about that?”

“You mean to tell me I’ve been having to deal with eating breakfast Steve’s made for this long and I could have been getting meals from five-star chefs every day?”

Peter shrugs. “One of the perks of being a Stark employee. Or an intern. Catered lunches, all made right here from the best chefs. Considering no one is allowed in right now, I’m sure if you raid some of their ingredients they won’t miss them. Who knows, they might even have pre-made fondant.”

“Pre-made fondant,” Bucky mutters under his breath, turning back for the elevator. “I spent half an hour making my own batch and there’s pre-made fondant.” The doors close on him, still muttering to himself.

“Should I… not have said anything?” he asks, looking at Steve.

“Well, as long as the chefs know how to make macaroons, I think he’ll be able to get over it. He might be a little sore about it for a while, but if anything, it’s Tony that should be weary for not telling us anything.”

“Alright, then… if you’re sure… Would you hand me that square piece?”

~~~

“Mr. Stark, you may want to visit the common room.”

“No. Jarvis, do not tell me that even after setting them up with a ton of lego sets, they’re still getting up to something. I don’t want to hear those words out of your mouth. They’ve been quiet all day.”

“I don’t have a mouth, sir.”

Tony rolls out from under the car and points at the ceiling. “Don’t you sass me. I’ll head up once I know this is secure. It can wait that long, right?”

“Undoubtedly it will.”

He isn’t sure what to expect as he heads for the elevator. Jarvis refuses to tell him any more, so all he can do is tap his foot impatiently against the floor as he waits for the doors to open. Once he steps out of the elevator and into the common room, however, and sees the table, he understands why Jarvis called him up.

“You two went through _all_ of those sets _already_??”

“Oh, hey, Mr. Stark!”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand. These were some of the biggest, most expensive sets they make! The Deathstar alone is 7,000 something pieces!”

“Oh, Ned has one and I helped him build it before! That one went by real fast.”

“This is what I get for underestimating a super soldier and Peter,” he mutters to himself. “Have you had anything to eat today?”

Peter frowns. “Have you?”

“...touche, kid.”

“Once I got the hang of the first one, it was really easy to sort through the pieces, and then the actual building part went really fast because of the system we had built up,” Steve says. “I’m just trying to figure out what this one is.”

“I told you already, that’s Hogwarts.”

“You mean Steve doesn’t know what Harry Potter is?” Tony frowns, forming an idea. “Well, with eight movies–”

“Bucky wants to be there when he watches them,” Peter interrupts, shattering his idea before it can fully form. “And he’s otherwise… preoccupied right now. You might want to stay away from him for a while.”

“I don’t even want to know. Alright, then, I’m out of ideas to keep the two of you busy. You’re going to have to figure that out on your own. Sorry.”

“That’s alright, Mr. Stark! I’m sure we’ll find something.”


	7. Day Ten

Tony rolls out from under one of his cars and stares at the ceiling in thought. He may have music blasting, reverberating off of the walls, but it still seems too quiet. Standing, he picks up a nearby rag to wipe the grease off of his hands as he realizes what it is. He hasn’t had an interruption from Jarvis in a while. What are Peter and Steve up to?

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Give me an update.”

While there are many things he could be updated on, including what still needed to be done on his next armor upgrade or what Pepper needs him to do, Jarvis knew which one he really meant. “Mr. Parker and Mr. Rogers are in the common room.”

“Doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” He tosses the rag to the side with a frown. “Are you sure they didn’t just tell you to say nothing?”

“Positive, sir. I would have alerted you if Mr. Parker attempted to override my systems again.”

“Right…” He can’t help but feel that there is still something suspicious about the idea of the pair doing nothing. Especially with how much trouble they have gotten themselves into in the past couple of days. “I should check on them.”

His foot taps against the elevator floor impatiently, and he files away an idea in his brain to upgrade the elevators so they move faster. He steps out quickly when the door opens only to find Jarvis was right, they are literally doing nothing. Steve is sprawled out on the couch, staring at the ceiling, and Peter is in a similar position but on the ceiling. There is nothing going on in the background – no TV running, no music playing, not even any food cooking.

“What’s up, kid?” he ventures, not sure if he wants to know the answer but feeling a need to interrupt anyway.

Peter moves his head to stare at Tony, expression vacant. “There’s nothing up, Anthony.” He then laid his head on the ceiling again.

Tony blinks. That’s the first time Peter called him anything other than Mr. Stark. Of all the things he was expecting for this moment, Tony had never thought Peter would decide to use his full name. “Okay…”

“There’s nothing to do,” Steve mumbles, sounding defeated. “We can’t go outside. Does the sun still feel the same? Do birds still chirp in the mornings?”

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize the two of you were such _drama queens_.” Tony sighed. “No one is using the landing pad, go sit out there for a few minutes if you really want some fresh air. It will be safe.”

Peter and Steve share a look, and Peter’s legs start to unstick from the ceiling. Tony turns away with a sigh, shaking his head. Sometimes he wonders how someone as smart as Peter and someone who has had everything enhanced with super soldier serum would forget something as simple as that.

~~~

Steve and Peter sit down face to face on the landing pad, legs spread out so their feet almost touch and their arms behind them to prop them up.

“There has to be something we can do,” Peter says, twisting his legs back and forth so the tips of his shoes clunked together. “There’s only – a few days left, right?”

“But what do we fill a few days with if we can’t go out there?” Steve lifts one of his arms to gesture out into the city, strangely empty and quiet. “Sure, everything we’ve tried is enjoyable, but not when it’s the only choice we have.”

Peter lets his shoes clunk together a few times in silence before he suggests, “Sometimes, at school, if the teacher walked out of the room, or was running late, we would come up with a prank on the dot. Silly things, like swapping seats, or flipping our desks upside down.”

“Are you saying we could prank Bucky and Tony?”

He shrugs. “I’m saying it’s an option. And if we say they’re harmless, and make sure Jarvis knows they’re harmless, he might not tell on us.”

Steve rubs the back of his neck. “I have to admit, I don’t know much about pranks. We did them a lot in the army, especially when the commandos were around, but not all of them were – appropriate.”

“I can take charge then, pretty easily. Do you know how much plastic wrap we have?”

~~~

Their first victim is Bucky. It’s not that they did it on purpose, designing the pranks specifically to suit him, but he is the first one to appear, coming up for the same reasons Tony had. 

“Hey Ste–” He cuts off as he runs into the plastic wrap covering the elevator door. As he staggers backwards to get away from it and swipes his metal arm through it to clear everything, he hears giggling coming from somewhere nearby. He sighs, weighing his options. On one hand, he could ignore it and leave again and let them play around. On the other, he could indulge them, and maybe then they wouldn’t cause any trouble. He takes a cautious step out of the elevator, looking around the corners to see what would happen next. 

The first door he opens in his search for the pair, he hears a ripping noise from above, just a hair too late, and old packing peanuts rain down on him, followed by more giggling. So they were watching from somewhere else on a camera. He pushes through the peanuts, foam crunching under his boots, wondering how many more of these rooms he was going to have to walk through before he found them.

Most of their pranks hid behind doors – fake spiders on strings that fell into his face, more plastic wrap – he couldn’t tell what was worse, wondering when a bucket of water would fall on him, or the realization that there were a lot of doors up here. When he finally made it to them, he stood with a blank face as he was sprayed with cans of silly string, sticking all over his clothes and hair.

“Are you done?” he asks, pulling the string hanging in front of his eyes so he can at least see.

Peter and Steve giggle some more.

“Yeah,” Steve says, setting his can down.

“For now,” Peter adds, setting them off into giggles once more.

“Let me guess, you want to hit Tony too?”

“Oh of course. Don’t think you’re getting special treatment here,” Steve says, wagging his finger. “We just set pranks up for whoever the victim was. You happened to be the lucky first victim.” He pokes his chest to emphasize his words.

“Harmless pranks for harmless fun, can’t call you out on that.” He sighs again and turns to leave. “Have fun,” he calls over his shoulder. “And if you want more to work with, I think Clint has balloons downstairs.”

~~~

Tony suffers through a similar fate, hours later, when he feels it is still too quiet and doesn’t believe they were outside on the landing pad the whole time. Or, maybe, somehow they had found a way to the ground from the landing pad. In retrospect, sending out the kid who could climb walls was a bad idea. Had he remembered to make the outside of the tower anti Spider-Man enough?

When the plastic wrap hits him, he finds that no, they hadn’t escaped and no, they weren’t still bored. Out of all the pranks he went through to find them, he thinks the balloons were the worst. Just as he was opening a door, out spilled balloon after balloon, spilling into the open space and flying out at him.

“I knew the two of you were full of hot air, but I didn’t think that meant this much!”

After he, too, is doused in silly string, he decides that they can handle themselves, and would find entertainment enough to carry on in these final days. He leaves amidst their giggling, and hopes against all odds that the key to keeping them occupied isn’t making others look like fools. Because the only others are him and Bucky. And he knows neither of them has the patience for something like that. 


End file.
